


Could he be dead?

by mtk_waan



Category: X JAPAN
Genre: M/M, Missing Persons, Originally Posted Elsewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1997-05-04
Updated: 1997-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtk_waan/pseuds/mtk_waan
Summary: After Yoshiki decides to end a relationship with Taiji, Pata mysteriously disappears.  Could Taiji be connected to his disappearance? Or not?And with Pata missing.. Yoshiki only realises then how important Pata is to him.
Relationships: Pata/Yoshiki (X JAPAN), Taiji/Yoshiki (X JAPAN)





	Could he be dead?

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written in 1997, (Wow... hide was still alive and X hadn't broken up yet... I want to cry now.) and has not been edited in any way. Even 23 years later, I needed to put it somewhere. It feels like I wrote this forever ago.

He wouldn’t stop. This was the 32nd time that this had happened this year.. And it was May. Yoshiki should’ve just left that motherfucker already. Taiji just couldn’t control himself. Even if he was in a relationship with Yoshiki, that didn’t matter to him. All there was had only been phisical attraction and nothing more. Yoshiki was going to leave him. Finally, he would.

He knew where Taiji had been and knew what he was up to. He wouldn’t bother trying to stop his actions, he just needed to confront him and tell him that he's done with his shit. He snuck in through the backdoor of his soon-to-be-ex’s house… He knew that Taiji was there. He _knew_ Taiji would probably be making love to one of the members of X…

He tried his best to prepare himself for anything that he was soon to encounter. He’d felt a feeling in the pit of his stomach building up after he walked up the stairs. Yoshiki was already in the house, why turn back? He had business here. As he opened the door, he was ready to start screaming if necessary.

But in this case, it was the _other_ way around.

He found _Pata_, half-naked and pinned down by Taiji on his couch. The only one to scream was Pata, only to get in return his mouth covered by Taiji. What the fuck had Yoshiki walked in on? Taiji cheating on him with the person Yoshiki would _least_ expect; PATA>>>

I mean, _WHO_ likes Pata? …...Nobody…..!!!!

“TAIJI…!!!!!” Yoshiki yelled in the most frustrated, spoiled, and bitchy-princess tone he could use.

Pata looked terrified, you could see it in his eyes…… no…… what _were_ Taiji’s intentions?

“Pata, why would you agree to this?!” Yoshiki’s eyes looked murderous almost. Nobody could cheat on this princess, he needed the world, and when he didn’t get it, he destroyed the ones of other people.

The fear in Pata’s eyes was tremendous, who _knew_ what Taiji had planned…!?!? “I _didn’t_ agree!” He admitted, Taiji still was on top of him.

Oh no… no…. Was Taiji going to rape him..!? Yoshiki needed to do something, unlike Taiji, he actually cared about Pata!

Yoshiki only quickly walked over to Taiji, “Don’t think I didn’t know about this, fucker…. I know about _every_single_time_” He slapped Taiji’s face.

Taiji let go of Pata, and was soon to effortlessly push Yoshiki to the ground… Yoshiki had never been very muscular or strong, no. He wasn’t that weak however… just unprepared for a fight. Pata just sat there on the cold floor and watched as Yoshiki and Taiji fought, they wouldn’t even stop.

More and.. More and… More time went by. Yoshiki and Taiji couldn’t seem to quit the fight until both had been out of breath.. Too much to fight.. Yoshiki weakly stood up and began to walk away from the room as Taiji watched him while panting. “Bye… By the way, you’re fired.”

He grabbed Pata’s wrist, of who he was sitting in the corner the whole time.. “Come on, pata…” he dismissed both of them as if nothing had even happened. Pata just agreed because he trusted Yoshiki.

Yoshiki had taken Pata to his house that night… It was already the next day, Pata just stayed as it was too late and he was too drunk to get himself home. Not that he stayed in Yoshiki’s room… just slept on his couch, he didn’t care.

They both heard the news.

“Taiji was arrested?” Yoshiki knew Taiji deserved it, and he was more glad that this happened.. He wouldn’t be able to harm Pata anymore.

“You know… for attempted rape….”

“Right.. I’m sorry, Pata. I’m sorry for what he did to you.”

“Don’t apologise… I’ll see you later. I love you.” He excused himself before kissing Yoshiki’s lips, only for a second breaking the kiss as quickly as it happened, not long before leaving Yoshiki’s house. He’d be sure to see him later, right?

The next day, X had a meeting at their studio… They needed a new bassist. Their previous one had been fired and arrested, so they were already looking for a new one. 

“We all heard what happened by now..We need to find another bassist.” Yoshiki announced… only to realise just now that he’d only been talking to 2 people.

“Where’s Pata?” He just noticed Pata wasn’t there… It was just Pata’s fault, he never stood out and seemed to have little to no presence, nobody ever noticed when he was there, and it wasn’t surprising that nobody noticed when he wasn’t there either.

“I haven’t seen him in 3 days.. Sorry” Toshl apologised, he didn’t realise that Pata was so.. Absent. 

“He came to my house in the morning yesterday and gave me a few rings of mine that I forgot.. I don’t remember losing them even.” hide was confused… Something was definitely wrong….. Pata never showed up late, he was always on time. Never early, never late. “When did you last see him?” hide asked

“Yesterday morning.. He stayed at my house the night before, and left a bit after he woke up.. He didn’t bring anything to my house or leave with anything” Yoshiki confessed.

“What else happened?” Toshl questioned

“He… well, we drank some whyskey after we got to my house, I wanted to distract him from something cause he didn’t feel good. We both drank a lot so I don’t really remember the rest of what happened, but we went to sleep around 2am. Pata slept on the couch. When I woke up, Pata was already awake and we talked a little bit about Taiji.. So I agreed with him. Then he said he loves me, kissed me, and left, he said he’ll be back later… but I haven’t seen him since.” Yoshiki explained.. He was sad as he explained this, he worried… what if Pata wasn’t actually coming back?

And it was the first time Pata kissed him, they never flirted or showing any signs of liking each other.. But Pata kissed him and left.

Toshl’s lips scrunched, he was maybe a bit jealous of this… Pata got to kiss Yoshiki but he didn’t… How envious Toshl was of Pata… No.. this was _pure_ jealousy.

“Pata.. um… _kissed_ you?” Toshl didn’t want this to be true. 

“He did.. But we aren’t dating.. It was just a small kiss and almost nothing happened.. Our lips touched for a second, that was it.”

Even this was bad.

“Pata came to my house at around 08:00 yesterday.. He woke me up. What time did he leave your house?” hide asked Yoshiki.

“He left mine at around the same time.. Did he leave with anything?” Yoshiki questioned

“No, he walked away and went to a corner shop by my house, he started talking to some guy but walked away after a bit, that’s last I saw him.”

Yoshiki’s eyes widened, what if Pata was kidnapped!? “What did the guy look like?”

“Couldn’t tell. He was short, looked kinda muscular I guess, but I couldn’t really tell because he was wearing all black and a hoodie… But Pata seemed so familiar with the guy, he didn’t seem reluctant to talk to him at all… But still, I can’t cancel the theory...what if he kidnapped Pata?!” hide became even more concerned now, of that Pata could definitely be kidnapped by someone!

“We need to report him as missing, now.” Yoshiki insisted before running to the other room to call the police.. He would not allow for his friend to not be helped.

Two weeks have passed by. Pata was still completely absent.. Nobody had heard of him… X had already announced their hiatus. Yoshiki has had his house checked probably 3 times, now… but neither hide or Toshl have. Just Yoshiki, of course he was the main suspect.. There was also another theory: What if Pata could’ve killed himself, and that kiss for Yoshiki was both a confession and a goodbye?

On the night that Yoshiki had that thought, he cried himself to sleep. Did he love Pata? He just cared because Pata was his friend… Right?

No. If Yoshiki ever saw Pata again, he would confess. He had to…. _If_He_Ever_Saw_Him_Again.

Yoshiki now had Toshl and hide at his house, they were discussing the disappearance of Pata.. as that’s all there was to talk about now.

“Apparently I’m a suspected kidnapper now cause I mentioned I liked to drink with Pata” hide sighed. Though at the same time… it could be anyone that was in the room. Or couldn’t. Or could be that Pata ran away by his own choice…

“I wish I could just see him again even once.. He was so cute.. And there’s a chance he could be dead.” Toshl didn’t make any eye contact to neither hide nor Yoshiki. 

He thought Pata was _cute_? This worried Yoshiki… oh no…. If Pata ever comes back, what if they both confess to him and he rejects them both! Pata may have seemed like a nice guy, and a bit naive maybe, but that definitely wouldn’t make him easy, right? People still have standards!

Pata was indeed cute… and what a kind guy.. everyone missed him.

Today the three had been visited by yet another officer, having to explain the same story over and over and over again.. It’d probably never end. 

“So how long has it been since you’ve seen him?”

“A month.”

“Where was he last seen?”

“At a corner shop by hide’s house, he met up with some guy in all black and left with him.”

“Can you describe the man?”

“I already said, he was in all black. As hide described. His face wasn’t visible and he seemed muscular and short.”

“Mhm… ok… has Pata been known to have depression or any suicidal tendencies?”

“Maybe depression… It seemed he suffered a lot when he was younger and it really affected him.. But at the same time, he was the calmest guy I knew.”

“If Pata committed suicide, would you be surprised or have seen it coming?”

“I would be surprised.. He cares about X, he cares about us, he cares about what he does..”

Yoshiki laid in bed, once again he’d spent another night crying. He was alone, so it didn’t matter. Not like anyone saw him being this weak. He felt pathetic, he just regretted his choice of allowing Pata to leave his house, if he hadn’t done that, this stupid situation wouldn’t have ever happened in the first place. Only now that Pata was gone had he realised, he was in love with Pata. He hugged onto a pillow, he really wanted to hold someone right now but he couldn’t.. Maybe he was meant to be alone…. First his father left from his life.. And secondly, his love left from his life… Yoshiki must’ve been cursed, he was certain that if he fell in love, the person would leave him behind… He was convinced now that Pata had killed himself.

He needed someone. He wanted Pata, most, now…

  
  


Today Yoshiki and hide had been to Toshl’s house. Yoshiki’s depression had been getting worse day by day.. Who knew how important Pata could be to him? He knew Pata loved him… if Pata ever was found, he hoped that Pata still loved him. After finishing his glass of wine, he set the empty glass on the table. hide spoke up, “I think I’ve found a new bassist for when X’s hiatus is over.”

Finally some good news.. For the first time in forever. hide usually had a good choice, so if hide said that he’s probably found a new bassist, Yoshiki and Toshl could trust that.

“What’s his name?” Yoshiki wondered. Getting a new bassist wouldn’t fix Yoshiki, it would only fix one of the empty roles.. Barely… he didn’t care that Taiji would be replaced, but he didn’t want Pata replaced…

“His name is Heath, he’s a bit younger than us but he definitely has talent!” hide excitedly announced. 

Both Yoshiki and Toshl were excited, chances are, nobody can be worse than Taiji. And if someone as short tempered as hide thought positively of him, he must've been a nice guy. 

"So when do we get to meet Heath?" Yoshiki asked

"I'll introduce him to you tomorrow! I think you'll like him" hide smiled. 

Heath had been shy, but after hide's nagging, he agreed to join X. Everyone liked him already, and were happy to hang out with him. Today everyone had once again been at Toshl's house, all drinking although it didn't seem that Heath drank nearly as much as everyone else. Yoshiki finished up from drinking the rest of the beer Toshl had provided.

"I'm going to get more beer" Yoshiki announced before leaving the room. He walked to Toshl's kitchen, but only was to be disappointed when he opened the fridge and noticed that there was no beer left there anymore. Well…. Toshl had to have some in the fridge in his basement. 

It's no problem if Yoshiki goes down there, he's known Toshl forever, they wouldn't even be able to keep any secrets from each other.. Right? 

He opened the door and reluctantly walked down the steps - the damn basement was always too cold and dark. As he walked further down the stairs, he could hear shuffling, _probably_ rats. He opened the door to the fridge and looked through it, there were a few different types of beer in there that Yoshiki was struggling to decide on which one he wants. Yoshiki was getting more anxious every second, the noises becoming louder and louder.. There could've been a _raccoon_ in there! He grabbed the first one that looked enjoyable and quickly closed the door, before beginning to rush back up the stairs. 

Although this plan was interrupted, along with his tracks, and his normal heartbeat as soon as he heard a voice from the basement. 

"Yoshiki…?" a confused voice called out. Yoshiki froze. There was someone _in_Toshl's_basement_!? He didn't want to look behind him, but at least he was halfway up the stairs and could easily run away if he had to. "Yoshiki..!!! Yo-chan!" the voice yelled to him. Most anxious as he had been in forever, he turned on a light, bracing himself for seeing whatever was in there. 

His eyes widened as he noticed a very familiar person… broken. 

"Pata…..!? You're alive!?" Yoshiki rushed down the staircase and ran up to him. He was so happy just to know that his friend was alive…. But why was he there? 

Quickly, Pata covered Yoshiki's mouth with his hand, "Be quiet!" he commanded. This showed something was definitely wrong….but what was it? 

"Why do I have to-" 

"Toshl…! Close the door now…!"

Toshl?

Toshl…..no…… Toshl couldn't have… _kidnapped_ Pata, right…?! He wouldn't… wouldn't that be unlike him? 

Yoshiki did as Pata told him. He trusted Pata. He closed the door at the top of the staircase and then walked back down. 

"Pata…. Are you okay..? Please tell me what happened.." Yoshiki had to worry about Pata, he could see from his eyes that Pata didn't have any bad intentions. He looked so damaged….

"Remember how.. When I last saw you, before I left, I kissed you?" Yoshiki nodded his head "Toshl… He… well, he threatened that if I don't meet up with him, he'll lock you up. So.. I met with him… But he brought me to his house and threw me here.. But Yo-chan... Please help me." Pata begged of him. He felt nobody cared for him if Toshl took enough time to kidnap him because of Yoshiki

"_He_said_he_would_lock_me_up_..? Why….? And why'd you listen to him?" Yoshiki wanted to cry now.. But he was also happy that he'd finally seen Pata… the condition wasn't the best. 

"I didn't want him to hurt you. I hoped he wouldn't do anything to me… the reason I kissed you before I left was because I needed you to know what I thought. I was almost sure I wouldn't see you again." as he explained this, Pata looked nearly dead… He head heavy bags under his eyes that indicated he hadn't slept in quite awhile.. And he appeared to have lost a bit of weight, as well… Toshl probably didn't feed him… 

"I'm sorry, Pata.. I shouldn't have let you leave so easily..it won't happen again." that was all Yoshiki could manage to say. He didn’t know what to say, all was just too much to process so he couldn’t even think clearly. 

All the next thing was, Pata hugged him so tightly. Yoshiki didn't think that Pata ever hugged him for a reason that was other than having just finished a live.. It felt nice. 

But after Yoshiki had backed away, he remembered that there was quite a problem there… and he needed some way to sneak Pata out. 

"Wait.. I'll get you out of here.." Yoshiki insisted before walking up the stairs, as Pata followed behind him. He opened the back door quickly before he let Pata out, quick to return to the front room where Toshl, Heath, and hide were. He decided to use his first idea of an excuse. 

"Hey Toshl, I'd love to stay… But.. _hide_ and I have to go… see ya later!" He rushed himself out, forcing hide by the wrist to come along with him. As soon as they exited from the back door, hide became just as shocked as Yoshiki had been earlier when he saw Pata for the first time in months. 

“Pata...!” hide exclaimed, he immediately hugged Pata, “Where have you been?”

“I’ll tell you once we’re somewhere else…. Yoshiki..?”

“We can go to my house.”

~AT YOSHIKI~

“So after I told Toshl.. I’m in love with Yoshiki.. He wanted to meet up with me and he trapped me in his basement since.” Pata explained as Yoshiki held him.

hide had lost all of his respect for Toshl right there, as he’d kidnapped one of his best friends. “Did he feed you?”

“Maybe a few bones every few days.. I haven’t eaten properly in weeks.” Pata confessed.

It hurt both hide and Yoshiki to hear of Pata’s condition.. But they were both grateful to see him again, at least.

“You must be _starving_! You _need_ to eat.. What do you want? I’ll make something for you now.” Yoshiki offered, he insisted that Pata must eat something.

“Ah… am… anything is fine.. Thank you so much for offering it.”

A few minutes after, Yoshiki had found himself admiring Pata and how adorable he looked as he ate the strawberries Yoshiki had given him. 

Yoshiki had planned… He was going to fire Toshl. After this happening, Toshl was unforgivable. It didn’t matter if he was the only other original member, and it certainly didn’t matter if he’d known Yoshiki since they were both 4. He had kidnapped Pata, who was _secretly_ Yoshiki’s favourite member (_Don’t_tell_hide_this_!!!)

Although after this, it was certain that there couldn’t be anyone new that Pata could begin to trust. Just Yoshiki and hide. He trusted Toshl… but look how that ended. But one thing that he was certain of was that Yoshiki would try his best to protect him.

Ok. X needed a new vocalist. It had been the second time this year that X had lost a member and not only to have them arrested, in the span of a month and a half. Maybe X would just disband… no…. Nobody wanted that. 

Although on the bright side, the 4 remaining members of X had been searching for a vocalist now….. 

And another thing:

Yoshiki confessed to Pata!

Of _course_ Pata accepted.. And Yoshiki was probably the only person that Pata just couldn’t politely reject. As well.. Pata also loved Yoshiki and that’s how he got himself kidnapped in the first place. But Yoshiki would do his best to be sure that this would not happen again.

Heath was silent, minding his own business while Pata and Yoshiki were just having a quiet conversation. Pata seemed a bit more like himself now, although being kidnapped is such a trauma that one could never fully recover from. Yoshiki could at least brighten his mood, though. Suddenly their conversation was interrupted, as hide proudly walked in,

“I found a new vocalist!”

~OWARI~

Note: Ahhhhhhhhh guys I'm _so_so_sorry_ that this took so long to write! I wrote this on my brother's computer since I don't have my own and he didn't let me go on it as much because we got into a fight! I'm sorry! It took 2 days, I'm so embarrassed *cries*

The entire time writing a scene with Toshl I wanted to vomit, I can't stand him! He used to be so hot and now he is just plain! Actually, _I_hate_toshl_and_I'm_not_joking_. I _really_ wanted to write something sexual but I couldn't because it's my brother's computer (I promise to write a sexual X Japan story sometime as long as it doesn't include Toshl.) My dad would not notice if I write an English document on his computer hahahaha  


I ship Yoshiki and Pata so much lately though, as long as Toshl is not involved (_wow_that_sounds_dirty_hahaha_) But Yoshiki stopped being sexy lately, _he_looks_like_a_man_now_ and even _pata_looks_more_pretty_than_him_! Lately Pata is _so_much_cuter_ and girlier like _I_want_to_marry_him_ but not Yoshiki. Since a few years ago, Yoshiki has been wearing SHORT hair *cries*

I noticed in the internet people seem to ship hide x Yoshiki too much lately but _they_are_not_cute_together_and_never_will_be_ because it wouldn't even work if hide is going for anyone it can't last because he is a whore (^^')

Anyways I debated with my mom about this because Pata is so ugly and I can't see Yoshiki going for him but I still wrote this stupid fanfiction anyway, I only imagined Yoshiki with hide the entire time so I wouldn't vomit... ew.... Pata......... he's only 31 and looks like 50 already hahaha he has so many wrinkles and probably doesn't even brush his teeth.


End file.
